OKAY OKAY stop bugging to update....THANKS.

i promised this one was going to be about en ting and her BLACK FACE DAY. but thats crap(and so is she) so i'm going to skip it entirely.

yes.....its 1:59 am in the morning. Gabby just reminded me to update(how thoughtful) . so here i am sleepy eyed trying to blog something to satisfy my readers.

and those ladies who have been worrying...i can assure u with much certainty that i'm STILL ALIVE. and kicking by the way.

just need some....pasta....and more....time....less hazel(my very annoying sister)

but hey i can't be all mean and insult everyone all the time right....

so today i'm going to PRAISE some ppl for a change.

so i'm going to start off with the person that i love most and who i think is most important in my life.

1. Norman....okay lets skip this.too many things to praise.

2.Pasta. I KNOW I KNOW. pasta is not a person u say?......well its the love of my life.

3.MUMMY AND DADDY. being on my blog is enough of a compliment already.

4...........what should i put for four?......hmmm hazel?....nononono i want something IMPORTANT.

OH YAH.... speaking of which....i just met....CHARIS the other day. (scuse me charis my readers HAVE to know this.)

charis is/was/will forever be my childhood sweetheart.

How old were we then charis?.....primary.....1? 2? what the hell.

i think(i think) that i liked her when i was young. HAHAHAHA. i was dumb back then see?

like her....hah

and we talked the other day and she told me she USED/DOES/WILL FOREVER like me.

well she did use to like me(i'm just hoping for the does/will forever be part)which is kinda expected.

it kinda shocked me though cuz....ah...i didn't know my goodlooks dated so far back.(blushes)

perhaps it was my charm....although at the age of seven i doubt my charisma was any good.

so it has got to be my good looks. i think.

WHATEVER.

she's so sweet this charis of mine.

i asked her mum whether i could marry charis. she burst out laughing(i took that as a yes).

but her father's a pasta....i mean...a pastor. damn i need to eat something.

so here it is

4. charis..sweet darling o' mine.
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.wait

i forgot soccer

so charis ur number 5(at least ur on my list).

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.WAIT

i forgot music.

so charis you're 6.

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.WAIT WAIT WAIT

okay norman STOP

she's on ur list
stop changing it darn it.

well lets look at the BOTTOM of this miserably LONG list.

let me see.

100. SR Nathan

1000. George bush

10000.George bush face

AHHH,...here it is...

number 1020234270492049230948723098423.

this interesting creature by the name of "hazel".

102023427049230948723098423. Hazel- annoyingly irritating creature. Spends ITS time irritating her brother's plans for global domination and making a fool outta ITself AND chasing almost every single girl AWAY from him.

dun u just love hazel?...she's such a darling.



anyway... all this blabbering makes me wanna.....eat...something.

away to the kitchen i go.

yah...its been a week....SOOO many things to write. just proves one thing....i have a life....DO U HAVE A LIFE?....let me answer that for you....NO. why? you're reading this thats why.

the whole week was...EVENTFUL. as always. but u know u always look forward to a PARTICULAR part of a week? everyweek?

for those no-lives u'll not understand...but for the rest of u u'll understand.

i finished my last test the other day. feeling good. walking out of the exam hall,SUDDENLY, okay it wasn't so sudden, but....u know OUT OF THE BLUE...jaclyn asks this question

'what are ur going to do after this'

you know its like the standard cliche question to ask a friend when you know you're going to split up.

but when u ask that question u better have a GOOD thing to do after that. if not ur going to look like some silly no life shit.

guy with life:" hey whatcha doing after this?"

guy with no life:" home...watch my plants grow....watch those soap opera's with no meaning no plot and NO ENDING. count my toes....and fingers."


and what's up with these soap operas anyway?...they nvr seem to end. and u realize something about these soap opera's? they have no main character. just...MANY characters. And if the story says one of the character dies....they just....REGENERATE another one. it like these freaks are growin on the ground or something.

you guys watch days of our lives?....i turned on the tv the other day and.....this guy came on....its like...THE SAME GUY I SAW THREE YRS AGO?...

i mean like...don't they die or something?

and everything about their lives are so...DRAMA. notice that?

like didn't u ever wish ur life could be so dramatic?

u know?...wake up one day to find ur mother is a man.

or your best friend's havin an affair with ur girl.

or ur best friend's in love with u.....and he's gay.

that'll spice ur life up a WHOLE LOT MORE.


but i dun need that much drama. just some occasional heartbreaks i cause. girls crying over the phone. stalking me. worshipping me...u know...usual stuff.

but yea i dun need much drama man.

the other day...played soccer with the durianz...or half of them at least.

i mean...stuff like this.....U LOOK FORWARD TO u know?...

girls can go to hell....pasta seems irrelevant....soccer..with ur best buds....wow.

JACLYN said she was going to go party...clubbing or something.

she did...she went shopping as well.

jac let me tell u HOW to REALLY enjoy ur life.

on thursday...played soccer with the guys for few hours.

dinner with malcolm and gang....mee pok ...upsize...from 2.50 to 3 dollars.

shiok boy.

and bandung. make that two cups.

and friday...soccer again. then dinner at al ameen on some hill at hillview.

BUT THE HIGHLIGHT of my friday...was...NIGHT CYCLING. we went up hillview. an visited this really NICCCEEE haunted house.

now this haunted house was WWAAAYY up this hill...we had to push our bicycles up the steep hill. and let me tell u.....the house...was ..ONE FREAKY SHIT HOUSE MAN.

its like...there's no need to ask...THIS is the haunted house.

it had barbed wires and stuff....IRON FENCE....with a 'no trespassing' sign up front.

not the friendliest of designs if u ask me.

then we cycled up singapore...destination...admiralty.

YEA.... we cycled for a total of 6 hours! or more that night.

and we took photo's on the MIDDLE of the express way. yup we did.

slept on a badminton court. yes we did.

the fun we had.

WE DIDN"T NEED NO CLUB JACLYN. no need for drinks, sex or clubbing.

well...sex maybe yes. drinking....a definite no-no. i love my body too much.

drink milo. the energy drink. okay now i sound like some advertisement.

but u know what....this kinda thing gets u a hangover....even though u didn't drink anything....

the day after these kinda night cycling trips...ur muscles will ache so much....u dun feel like getting outta bed...so its like the same thing as getting a hangover. just...no hanging...more aching.

yah...and its like...12 in the morning now..i'm hungry.....think the kitchen is calling me.

breakfast...most important meal of the day.

Sexual Interpretation

OKAY...have you guys read angeline's blog yet?

NO?...DUN READ IT...you'll die(which is good if u hate ur life now)...its a good alternative to suicide.

okay no offense angeline. BUT ITS AS PINK AS HELL.

i had to speed read the part u asked me to read....SPEED READ I TELL YA.

and there's this song....AAAHHH.....i'm going to have nightmares tonight.

and there's this cartoon girl..who's wearing pink...and the background's pink.....hmm..i wonder what's angeline's fav colour....hmmm let me guess...i know!...black right?

(snorts)





"But I'm a creep I'm a weirdoWhat the hell I am doing here?I don't belong here..."

who sings these songs anyway?





ANYWAY....yeah....its a good blog though....no wait i'm lying...ITS JUST LIKE ANY OTHER BLOG.

i dunno why girls like to say about their lives in their blog....they bitch...as if people want to read ur rantings?!?! hello?.....then still can ask other ppl to read.

the nerve.


Hazel once asked me how i make my blog so interesting.

let me teach u how hazel.

STEP 1: go to your room, lock the door.

STEP 2: find mirror that is of convenient height, and can show ur face quite nicely(if you're ugly....thats not my problem. Fat?...lose weight. Stupid?....well...i'm so sorry)

STEP 3: find a marker, permanent if possible, and draw and big X on your face.

STEP 4: bitch slap yourself silly........

yes hazel...stupid question...how i make my blog interesting?....

ask the neighbour's dog...maybe it might know something. ( or he'll give you this arrogant sneer and call u dumb)




"more than words to show you feel, that your love for me is real..."

eww.


"Now that I've tried to talk to you And make you understand all you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands And touch me hold me close Don't ever let me go More than words is all I ever needed you to show Then you wouldn't have to say That you love me 'cause I'd already know"

okay this is the lyrics of the song more than words.....realize one weird thing...what this guy is saying is that...dun have to tell me you love me...just touch me and i know u love me(eww). So he's saying we need to have sex for me to know u love me.(CHEAP TACTIC BROTHER)

try coming up with something less sinister pls.

and people call it a love song. Its littered with sexual explicities for pete's sake.

this is what i call sexual interpretation.

dun like it?....THEN DUN READ...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

go read angeline's blog...AND DIE...HAHAHAHAHAHA

okay stop. mandy tells me i must be serious.

i'm serious...seriously...i'm serious.

i'm not joking....if i was joking i would say....a horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. the waiter gave it to him and ask "why the long face?".

but i'm not. see?...i'm serious.

i've just read my last entry three times.....even "I" find it funny....u must be laughing ur head off after reading through it...

damn i'm good.

SOMEBODY STOP MEH...

"God must have spent a little more time with you..."

what a bullshit song. have heard it?...yup its the kinda song that would make u wanna....oh which brings me to the next song...

"u make me wanna hold you in the middle of the night, make me wanna hold u till the morning light."

FIRE THE LYRICIST PLEASE. man...even my sister HAZEL can come up with that kinda cheesy lyrics..

HA HA HA(slow sarcastic laughter)



wait for those of u that think that that wasn't dumb...liste to this>
"i'm not a girl....not yet a woman."

why don't u just be a man for god sakes?....as if anyone in the world would give a heck...

okay enough of adrogany back to the real stuff...the essence of it.

yes ppl...u know what i'm talking about

the ultimate lame band of all time(which i know many of u would disagree with...but hey...ur reading my blog....NOBODY FORCED U TO READ THIS)

drumroll pls...the lucky band that i'm going to insult is................................SIMPLE PLAN.

YEAH YEAH YEAH....." did u ever feel like breaking down...did u you ever wanna run away?"

hmm.....errrr...NOT RECENTLY.

this music is targeted at those TEENS that actually have NO life.

"i'm sorry i can't be PERFECT." who asked u to be perfect?....(arrogant snort)

"welcome to my life." GO GET ONE...geez....u ask ppl to come into ur life when u DUN HAVE ONE.

haiz. Thank God I have a life. Pasta.

what?...i really like it?...

U DUN LIKE IT?.....dun make ur problem my problem.


excuse me....just got little carried away.

finally to conclude this....verbally exhausting insulting excercise>>>>>

for those CHEENA speaking guys(yes my chinese sucks)...its OKAY to listen to chinese songs...really..nothing wrong with it....if u like them....well...its ur preference...BUT PLEASE...i beg u,...just dun do ONE thing.....

DO NOT FOLLOW WHAT THE GUYS IN THE SONGS DO......chinese songs are SO EMOTIONAL. like as if LOVE has to ALWAYS HURT...then ppl love for what?...marry suffer the whole life?....PLS LA...learn to not be so wussy can?....enjoy abit...joke abit...dun be so shy...relax chill and eat more pasta

Norman(yes the handsome one) signing out.BYE

"why did it take so long?...why did it take so long?"

Mum bought me pasta mania last night.

i love my mummy.

she asked me" You love me or you love pasta more?"

i looked at her with a slight sneer on my face...nice sneer... and i said" isn't it obvious?"

then she was happy..until i said...

"of cuz i love pasta more." and the sneer turned to cheeky smile.

i love my pasta.


the class is like...getting stressed.

they need pasta.

ultimately....love life, eat pasta.

philosphy yeah.

i fell down today...from my bike.

dun worry ladies...i'm still alive.

"somebody save me"

all that was left of my male ego i picked up and carried on. still gotta a whole life ahead of me. Got to press on.

i was trying to jump a curb...didn't make it...saw my life flash in front of me as i fell(okay thats fake).

i fell and lay flat on the floor.

"i'm cold and i'm ashamed...lying naked on the floor.'

must have sat there for a minute.....then i broke into laughter.....UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER....should have had a camera handy.

laid there...staring up into the sky...trees everywhere....

"illusions never change, into something real. i'm wide wide awake and i see the perfect sky is torn."


everyone was staring i guess....i was beside the canteen. i know what ur thinking...WHAT A PLACE TO FALL RIGHT?....

yeah....God must have hated me then. But we're cool now right God?..

God:yeah...straight out.

and i dropped my laptop....poor laptop....speaking of which...i haven't named it yet.

it needs a cool name....something smart.(like me) something sauve(thats me too).

i know...i only know one name cool enough for that.....i'll call my laptop "Norman"

cool.

life's looking good now.....switching to autopilot mode. full speed ahead.


mum says i need a structure.

what structure is that mum?...pyramid? a spherical structure?(then i can truely say my life is always"on the roll")

no seriously what structure?...structure is boring.....abstract mum...think abstract.

"as long as you're looking good"